No Apache does not need you to restart it. Yes, you are doing it wrong. Follow the instructions at the link:
Make sure you are in <address-of-your-site.com folder> and not the web subdirectory. There are multiple .htaccess files, but I am not sure how missed the first one.
Enable shell access, but then be smart and enable SSH keys for password-less connections.
It helps to use the proper user name when trying to log in.